The power of listening (even if you do not want to)

Listening is difficult, especially if the hot airbag on the other side of the meeting room is pedantic, misinformed and irritating. Eventually, by showing patience, the hot air will dissipate and the chance to blow fresh air into the room will arise. “Listen to understand” and “engage brain before mouth” is easier said than done.

Over the years, I have done my best to bite my tongue and move to active listening and it helps. Suddenly being quiet and attentive can be very powerful. If your opinion or contribution is valuable your turn will come. Curb being resentful and impatient even when you strongly feel colleagues are plain wrong and off-track. Try to choose the right moment. Keep it short and clear. Or swallow it; there will surely be a next time. If your blood starts to boil, leave the meeting politely and silently is an option. Equanimity is the name of the game. Breathe in 4 counts, breathe out 7 counts, drop shoulders, put your knife back in your pocket!!

Actively listening means listening to understand not listening to respond. Allowing others to wear their larynxes out allows you to humbly interject with salient observations, hitting the “nail on the head” and addressing poignantly the elephant-in-the-room which can be intellectual fun.

This is part of a series of reflections dedicated to aspiring next Gen leaders.